A beautiful life

I'm really not sure how to write this post. This week has been very long. I have spent most of it at the hospital sitting with my grandmother as she lived her final five days.

I experienced time differently within the walls of that hospital. Time slowed down and I became saturated with so many emotions. First, I felt hope. My grandma had lived eighty six years in good health until last Wednesday, and initially we thought she might recover from this setback. When we learned that this would not happen, I felt sorrow. I was so saddened by the knowledge that my grandma would not be walking out of that hospital, knowing that she would not see this spring or any spring to follow. Although my feelings fluctuated, I felt one constant- a deep sense of pride and gratitude to be a part of such an amazing family. This feeling continued each day as I talked to, prayed with, and even sang with so many of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and of course, my sister. I also experienced my grandma's fear which led me to experience a bravery I'd never known. I sang songs of comfort to her. I spoke to her about heaven. I relayed messages from my sister in Chile that were both beautiful and spiritual.

Although time slowed down for me, it continued its steady march outside of those hospital walls. As I'd head home, my children so easily reminded me of that.

There were flowers to be watered.

Territories to investigate.

Babies to be read to.

Rock piles to explore.

Balls to be played with.

So each day I'd come home with a smile on my face and be a mom. Only to return that evening and be a granddaughter, a daughter, a music therapist, the voice for my sister in Chile, and whatever other role needed filled.

I will forever remember those days with my family as a sacred time. I experienced God's presence so intensely. I felt the love that permeates generations. I felt the peace that comes with accepting God's will and letting go of your own.

Of course, when faced with death so intimately, it shifts your perspective. We say it all the time, but life is short and fragile and oh so precious. I want to make the most out of the time God blesses me with. I want to take time to appreciate and give thanks to all the beautiful moments that make up my life.

Today I am grateful for Morgan's strong personality and tenacious spirit.

I am grateful for the Charlie. He couldn't stop being adorable if he tried.

I am grateful for Taylor's creativity and independence. She designed a new hairdo all by herself.

She also built a swimming pool for her fairies using a watering can and aluminum foil.

And her precious freckles are already beginning to make an appearance this spring.

Life just keeps going. Everyday there's something new to be celebrated. Like Mark's solution to the messy taco eating dilemma.

Or Morgan's solution to the boring shopping expedition.

And there's nothing like a baby niece to remind you of the beauty of life.

I can only hope to be as lucky as my grandma who lived eighty six healthy, happy years. I love you Grandma. Give Grandpa a hug from me.